Holding Myself Together Quietly

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind

And in the morning I’ll be with you
But it will be a different kind
And I’m holding all the tickets
And you’ll be owning all the fines

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Velvet Bohème closed last night and I took some time this morning to go sit in the garden area and just take one long last look at the build before I start to remove it. There is so much love and so many memories built into the region, some of it bittersweet, most of it joyous.

This year’s Velvet Bohème became quite challenging for me personally. On day 2 of the 2 week event I developed a headache severe enough to cause me concern, especially when painkillers weren’t working. My skin hurt. I know that sounds crazy but touching the skin on my face physically hurt. A couple of days later, just before Sanctum’s first evening on the festival stage I found some bumps on my hairline on one side of my head and called 111 (non urgent health advice). They immediately told me to go to the hospital and there I was diagnosed with Shingles. The exhaustion, and pain has on some days been overwhelming. Let alone the side effects of anti-virals and steroids.

Very few people knew, and I’m only really talking about it now due to my reflecting on how the last two weeks has gone. The people that did know that were connected to the event, and my close circle of genuine friends have all been amazing and supportive whether that be picking up any slack or just being the best supporters and urging me on. Sadly I had the added issue of finding out one “friend” was nothing of the sort but that’s life. You might as well already be down when someone kicks you, the fall hurts less.  But, the wonderful part of the experience with everyone else  was because everyone did their job, whether they knew about my illness or not. The bloggers  – incredible. The performers – turned up and did their best work. The managers from our partner venues had everything under control. Del was on hand to fall in wherever I would need help. I could be sick behind the screen and not worry about a ball getting dropped as far as the event was concerned and I am incredibly grateful for that.

And now, I can rest a while. Who am I kidding…there’s no rest for the wicked!

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