Bittersweet Peace

I am not the only traveler
Who has not repaid his debt
I’ve been searching for a trail to follow again
Take me back to the night we met

And then I can tell myself
What the hell I’m supposed to do
And then I can tell myself
Not to ride along with you

---

Closure has been a big theme of this year so far. As regular readers will know I lost a close family member at the start of the year. She was very open about how she wanted no fuss when she passed. No funeral, no memorial. At the time we talked about it I thought it was a good idea. I even expressed that I thought it might be something I would rather do. I changed my mind though after she passed. We had the call to say she passed and then nothing. Just a void of grief with no end in sight. It made me realise that the people you leave behind need an ending, they need the closure. A funeral or memorial isn’t really for you…it’s for those left behind mourning your passing.

There are of course other types of closure. Closure in relationships, whether those be friendships or romantic relationships. I realised this year that I need a definite ending to things…for myself. Those are harder because you can’t make someone explain their decisions or their behaviour and to achieve closure you have to take some control for yourself. Draw your own line in the sand and mentally close the door on what could have been and accept what is. You can’t move on without doing so and it’s not fair on anyone you try to move on with to even attempt it.

 

---