I was reminded of this song this weekend as I watched Strictly Come Dancing (the only reality show I watch and admit to be totally addicted to!) The lyrics of the song really resonated with me in light of my previous posts about Narcissism and some of the comments that I read here and on facebook.
My friend Tracy wrote a very touching piece on facebook in response to my post when she shared it, part of which is below:
…So now, almost a year later I’m still figuring things out and learning how to be alone…in both worlds. I’m not anyone’s partner or girlfriend anymore. Thats how I defined myself for the longest time. Read the blog post, because BELIEVE me I know how much courage and strength Kess had to muster to write and talk about what she went through. Kess you are simply amazing. And for gods sake if anyone is going through this..get out now. Real love doesn’t hurt. When someone really loves you they don’t dim your shine. They let you be the beautiful fucking bitch you are.
While I was touched by all of her post it was the last few lines that really resonated with me. “When someone really loves you they don’t dim your shine. They let you be the beautiful fucking bitch you are” That’s exactly what people that love you do. It’s certainly not what narcissists do. People, like my ex, are attracted to strong, vibrant, intelligent and gregarious people…because that is everything they want to be seen as.
At first they are happy to sit alongside you while you continue to be all of those things…that’s the plan. They are attracted to you because you are who they want to be and eventually they will chip away at all those attributes until they are the outgoing, gregarious, vibrant personality and you are a shell. That is not love…that’s not even caring…it’s abuse.
Someone who loves you will let you shine. They will be proud and bathe in the glow of your brightness. They will be their own person, they won’t need to feed off your achievements like a parasite. Because if you really love a woman (or man), as Bryan Adams says you “Hear every thought – see every dream n’ give her wings – when she wants to fly’
Anyhoo, that’s my thought for today, onwards with my credits and info on my pics! I had the pleasure of dj’g today for the Winter Wonderland set at !Exodus! and put together the rather cute, if I do say so myself, outfit pictured above. Most of it is from coldLogic or Neve and there’s a bonus on store credit at present so well worth a visit.
I also got a chance today to go through the many goodies I had received from the beautiful Hanstrid of Serenity Style. I know she’s had some time out of SL but she’s definitely catching up with gusto! The gorgeous Winter Sleigh set is available at Wayward Market which opened yesterday and runs through til 10th January.
The other items come from 4 very special Christmas Gachas that are available at the mainstore which is always well worth a visit.
Body – Maitreya Lara
Eyes – IKON – Spectral Eyes
Hair – Argrace – Azami
Coat – coldLogic – Koby coat
Scarf – coldLogic – Wayne Heather (comes with sweater, not worn)
Shoes – Zenith – Vintage Heels
Pose – Le Poppycock – La Paix Gacha – Delight **NEW** at The Liaison Collaborative
Serenity Style– Gift Deer RARE
Serenity Style- Winter Sleigh **NEW** at Wayward Market
Serenity Style– Baby Minnie ULTRA RARE
Serenity Style– Winter Wood Frame RARE
Serenity Style– Xmas Trees Gacha