Finding My People Anyway

My God, I’m so lonely

So I open the window

To hear sounds of people

To hear sounds of people

Venus, planet of love

Was destroyed by global warming

Did its people want too much, too?

Did its people want too much?

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I felt very Marilynesque in this dress, new from Giz Seorn at the anniversary round of FaMESHed. At first I was going to do a photo in a typical Marilyn steam grate look but then I thought about her, and me, and how I think one of the things we had in common is often feeling out of place and not fitting with a group….not being the norm and fitting in. So I put her, and me, in a diner. Sipping champagne while others enjoyed milkshakes, soda and burgers.

The theme of this continued. I finished taking the photo and had yet to note down the credits before I tp’d to a venue to see a DJ whose music I enjoy and where a new friend hosts. I knew my outfit was a bit over the top for the venue but it felt right, as well as convenient, in the circumstances. I went from there to see Aley sing, and I knew the outfit would be more appropriate there but then I went to a small indie club I regularly go to. One of the dj’s there had commented a few days ago that every time I go there it’s “what is Kess going to be wearing today – the look is always so different” so, I am sure they weren’t surprised when I arrived in my glam Marilyn look to their cosy loft area with beanbags, books and music posters.

I have mentioned before that I keep a small circle of very close friends, and only a slightly bigger one of people that I would describe as friends. This last month has been challenging…emotionally, physically and mentally. One of the joys of the last few months was making some new friends and finding new places to hang out, listen to music and meet and talk to interesting, genuine, people. I have met some lovely people and I’m thankful for them. I was concerned that changes, out of my control, would mean that I had to sacrifice those new friendships but without saying as much, a few of them have made it clear that it didn’t matter. This heartens me. I am very much of the view that we’re all adults here and can maintain friendships through the most difficult and challenging times.  Archer and I are just one example. After 4 years together we now regularly discuss our new friendships, relationships and still catch up on family news and check in on each other.  it’s not easy but it’s important to both of us. When a friendship does fail I think it’s one of the saddest things ever to be in a room with someone you cared about and not even be able to acknowledge their existence. Like strangers, in a diner.

 

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