I Don’t Shine if you Don’t Shine


I’ve been thinking about writing about Shine Theory for some time and my amazing, beautiful friend Sady wrote about a similar thing today on her blog so it seemed like today should be the day! I first heard about Shine Theory from an article on the BBC about the aides working in President Obama’s White House and how they have actively adopted the theory to make their voices heard. In a way it works on the same basis as Hillary Clinton’s campaign slogan ‘Stronger Together’.

For years women have fought each other and seen their female counterparts as competition in the workplace and in life in general. Understandable years ago when opportunities for women were few and far between and the women felt that they had to stand out from their counterparts in order to get ahead. Shine Theory is about standing out, it’s about shining bright but doing so by being part of a strong group of females where you all shine.  The theory was coined by Ann Friedman at The Cut and is wrapped up by this description:

‘When you meet a woman who is intimidatingly witty, stylish, beautiful, and professionally accomplished, befriend her. Surrounding yourself with the best people doesn’t make you look worse by comparison. It makes you better.’

I am fortunate to know many beautiful, strong, gifted, creative and talented women in Second Life and we’ve been practising ‘shine theory’ for some time without even realising it. We didn’t give it a label other than ‘friendship’.  We bask in each others achievements and cheer on when they are successful. We laugh together, cry together, drink together but at the heart of it is that we’ve all understood subconsciously that you yourself shine brighter when you support the endeavours of other people, not just women in my opinion, than when you try to go it alone.

Here’s my shout out to the all the women that I love to see shine, including, but not restricted to: Sady, Tracy, Grace, Ava, Del, Tempest, Liz Cheren, Caitlin, Inara, Jules, Exis, Rock Blossom, Ama, Meri, Paolla, Posh, Johanna, Beu, Manis, Josie, Andrea, Elo, Bee, Bambi, Eles, Saintess, Nish, Saffia, Samantha, Bee, Brique, Esme, Anna, Panda, Ylva…and these are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head! Keep up the great work ladies and keep shining!

About the Stuff:

This is the perfect post to show off the latest release from Reverie which is available at Uber not only because Paolla Flux is an extremely talented designer but because she certainly goes out of her way to make sure her bloggers shine in their own right too!  The Heidi skirt comes in 8 colours with 1 extra colour in the mini-fatpack and 2 in the fat-fatpack. I’m wearing it in Maitreya and I can confirm, as my friend Sady said when she tried it on, ‘check out the butt on that!!!’ It’s the perfect fit and super flattering on the hips and butt. It also comes in Slink Hourglass and Original sizes and as I switch a lot from Hourglass to Lara and back again this is a huge bonus for me.

The other benefit of the skirt is that the waist doesn’t sit too high which means it’s easy to match it up with tops from other creators. I’ve used the top from a top and a skirt set at Tres Chic by RINKA. The outfit is called Glory and also comes in Maitreya and Slink Hourglass and Original and comes in 6 colours with 2 additional colour options in the fatpack.


Head – Catwa – Destiny

Skin – The Skinnery Maitreya applier and Werra  Catwa Head Applier

Eyes – IKON – Sovereign Eyes

Eyelashes – Izzie’s – Catwa – Applier Natural Lashes

Ears – Mandala – Steking Ears

*Top – Rinka – Glory **NEW** at Tres Chic

*Skirt – Reverie – Heidi **NEW** at Uber

Boots – Empire – Xylobium **NEW** Luxe Box October

Hair – Truth – Debra **NEW** at Mainstore

Pose – an lar poses 

Location – Days of O **Group Join Fee Sim**

4 thoughts on “I Don’t Shine if you Don’t Shine

  1. You are the best! I never heard of that theory before, so thank you for sharing! I totally agree and I hope women finally unite instead of fighting each other. It always makes me happy seeing women being friends, true and real friends. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s possible! Time for some shiny hugging now…!Hugs you tight! Have a nice day ❤


  2. Kess what a beautiful post. You are right too it’s all about supporting and being united . Never about all the negatives that people can so easily adopt. Lovely post xx


  3. awwwww such a beautiful post Kess, Exis and I had a very quick discussion over this yesterday and I am so proud to meet your list of Shine Theory women because that is truely who I am and as told Exis, you are such a sweet supportive lady, you are real and genuine and your want to support people and them do well is such a credit it to you. My wish is that that was more people in this world both real and virtual like you. Thank you sweetie, hugs 🙂


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